Are You Protecting or Propelling Your Wife?
Gabrielle doing the Milestone Welcome 7.18.100
Two weeks ago my wife was asked by Pastor Pat to do the “Service Welcome” at all of our weekend services. Milestone is not massive, but we run nearly 2K on the weekend, definitely bigger than her usual Small Group stage. Needless to say – out of her comfort zone.
She did the 1st service welcome Saturday night, did alright, but never got in front of her nerves like she wanted. She came home disappointed because she wanted to do great, and really make people feel welcomed and it just never got there.
Honestly, I didn’t want her to do the welcome in the first place. Up to this point I’d been pretty quiet about the whole deal. “Why?” I wanted to keep her from the fear, disappointment, and anxiety that comes with stepping this far out of your comfort zone. I wanted to prevent any hurt, nerves, or embarrassed. I wanted to protect her.
Saturday night following the service we got home and she began to voice her disappointment. I jumped in to fix it. I wanted to give her an out. I told her we could do it together or I could do it for her. We settled in that we’d probably go with one of those options in the morning and then I went off to brush my teeth.
That’s when I decided to ask God what He had to say about the matter. While in the spiritual act of brushing my teeth, this goes through my head – “quit trying to protect her and get behind her. This is way bigger than just the welcome. This is one of the most uncomfortable thing she’s ever had to do and she’s having to really trust God in her weakness.”
I rinsed out my mouth, jumped in bed, and told her she’s doing the service welcome on her own in the morning. Told her she’s going to do great, God’s going to use her and I am going to help her. We started the coaching that night in bed. The next morning we talked some more and I met her backstage five minutes before each service to pray with her and coach her… She did awesome!
I learned that I can’t protect my wife from the discomfort of God’s process but I can propel her through it and into the great purpose God has for her. Growth is always uncomfortable and God always wants us to grow. This lesson is only the beginning.
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. – I Peter 3:7
This is a great message Pastor Steve. My default setting is to always try to protect my wife from any kind of discomfort, but I will definitely take heed to this and try to instead propel her through the difficult moments. And you are right…Gabrielle did an excellent job with the service welcome. We never would have known it was her first.
That’s generally my default too, but I’m learning. Thanks for the comment, Kevin.
Nice post Steve…me likes
Thx, Greg!
Pastor Steve- Thanks for being a great example of a God-ordained husband and wife team! Love learning from you and Gabby.
Thanks Meghan, we’re definetly grateful for the love God has given us for eachother.
Gab wanted me to clarify on the title…. I do want to protect her, just not from God’s process. Protecting is generally a good thing.
Great msg, PS. I know in my life, It’s easy to overlook these critical times when i need to step in for support. But I sure learn a good lesson when I’m paying attention to Candace’s needs.